How to Ruin Your Health - Dr. Berg

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hello and welcome to how to completely ruin your health and well-being if you’re looking to make terrible choices and sabotage your future health you’ve come to the right place let’s Dive Right into my recommendations realize there is no bad food group as long as you eat in moderation you can eat absolutely anything this includes junk food in moderation but let’s not call it junk food let’s call it fast food or Ultra processed food that will make you feel a little bit better the next time you buy food spend most of your time in the center of the grocery store ignoring the perimeter this way you’ll save a lot of money and this is where all the cheap empty calorie food is located and don’t forget to bring your kids just make sure they’re hungry and tired before you walk into the store make sure you buy no vegetables or meats or cheeses because they go bad very quickly say hello to the ultra process sugary starches seed oils and processed snacks they virtually have no expiration date remember the more artif icial the better and regarding red meat it’s like smoking a cigarette it causes cancer so stick with the ultra process foods you will not regret it step number two enjoy life listen closely to this very important message tast likea come on girl got to share a c with [Music] you want to live a little bit more that’s what the taste of C is for C [Music] like so quench your thirst and get hydrated with these sugary sodas energy drinks and sugar Laden fruit juices but just make sure you ignore the fact that they might lead to weight gain diabetes and a whole host of other health issues but so as I say Coke bad’s life take that to the Grave I mean take that to heart also realize that our food pyramid is based on science just ignore the rumor that most of the scientists that actually created the dietary guidelines have conflict of interest you only live once so enjoy yourself those wonderful delicious chips that are like sponges for hydrogenated seed oils added synthetic sugars and monosodium glutamate Will Comfort your soul and as a really great benefit because of all the preservatives they have no shelf life they’ll last for years so don’t worry not even the bugs we eat them these Comfort foods will comfort you and protect you against the stresses of Life step three develop a sedentary lifestyle avoid any form of exercise and embrace your inner Couch Potato remember Mobility is overrated exercise can be dangerous I mean you could slip and fall it’s much safer to stay inside your house and Studies have shown that if you just fidget more while you’re watching t TV and eating that popcorn you can actually burn a few more calories per hour but just make sure you always have plenty of excuses the weather the holidays your busy schedule blame something anything because it’s not your fault just cycle through your excuses and never admit that you have anything to do with any of your health problems you’ve just been dealt some bad genes you should have picked your parents a little bit more wisely step four always find a way to sabotage yourself when you start making head way and make some healthy changes or maybe you start to lose some weight reward yourself instantly with a doughnut a nice glass of wine or a big bowl of ice cream step five stay inside avoid the outdoors at all cost who needs Sunshine fresh air nature when you can stay indoors in your own little bubble we do not want to let all that dangerous Sun touch your skin and if you do go outside lather your body with sun blocker that way you can block all your vitamin D I’m sorry I meant UV radiation stay indoors because if that nasty air pollution doesn’t get you the sun will couch surfing and binge watching TV should be your next Main Hobbies it’s much safer stay glued to that screen and you know any news about this EMF radiation coming off your computer screen or your TV screen it’s just fake news very soon the metaverse will be here who needs a real world experience when you can live your entire life in a virtual reality bubble step six eat eight meals a day now let’s talk about your new anti intermittent fasting schedule the eight meal a day strategy really works because you’ll never feel hungry ever again in fact you’ll be grazing all day long like a friendly cow and don’t forget to bring those snacks everywhere you go after all you never know when you might encounter a snack emergency blood sugar crash no problem that’s why we have our glucose pills waiting for you these will fix your hypoglycemia your doctor has got your back and they’ll manage those blood sugar spikes and crashes while you enjoy your never-ending Feast step seven realize all calories are exactly the same and don’t buy into this idea that certain calories trigger certain hormones eating a 500 calorie meal of delicious donuts is exactly the same as eating a balanced Whole Food nutritionally dense 500 calorie meal remember a calorie is a calorie this is science step eight late night snacking develop a late night snacking habit and those High omega-6 fatty acid seed oil snacks hey just go ahead and devour that giant bowl of ice cream before bedtime and induce a sugar coma I’m sorry I meant induce a good night’s sleep step nine check with your doctor realize that Alternative Care could be very dangerous so always check with your doctor before taking anything natural because they have the experience in training in nutrition they’ve done studies you know 60% of the time it works every time but if in doubt ask Dr Google this is your go-to 100% unbiased source of true information and don’t worry if you have health illiteracy they will help you identify what true misinformation is as well step 10 Sleep listen you you have plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead sleeping is overrated this is why God invented coffee drink as much coffee as you need to stay awake Step 11 embrace your inner Pharmacy listen health is about managing your diseases why bother staying healthy when you can keep your symptoms suppressed and your symptoms managed until someday when they find the Cure if one medication gives you a side effect don’t worry we can give you another medication that can treat that side effect very easily but don’t worry they wouldn’t sell these drugs unless they were safe and effective at least most of the time I think it’s really important to choose your side effect wisely and lastly step 12 stay blind and unaware resist any change don’t seek knowledge about nutrition exercise or Diet bad habits are a normal part of life continue to believe that your health condition is genetic and there’s nothing you can do about it